Nestor's Cola

TG|Nestor we need to step back, of course. go back to a more naturalistic environment and isolationist type cities. remove such mass-communication devices like the cellular solution, and the deconstruction of the internet. future-thinkers only strive to bring about a bland commonality
Vavrek I don’t believe you. You’re just a program made by the government to spout lies.
* Nihni has quit IRC (Read error: 110 (Connection timed out)
TG|Nestor The construction of a global communication network has not in fact given rise to inspiration, creativity, and a mutual sharing of information, ideas, and creative flux, but instead has created a bland soup of conformity, mediocrity, and the ‘go along to get along’ philosophy.
TG|Nestor …heh.
TG|Nestor I’m not sure if I was sarcastic or not.
Vavrek I was reminded of … damn, I think it was in The Lost World. One of Ian Malcolm’s rants, he talks about how globalization slows down evolution drastically.
TG|Nestor vavrek: I was just making shit up.

Nestor Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

All right you fuckers, listen up. I got me a goddamn fucking soapbox and I’m gonna work that shit.

Read for amusement, boredom, or skip over it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Anime makes you gay.

I used to know a bunch of otaku geek fucks in college that are the spitting definition of Otakus. They all share some things in common:
1. They’re socially inept.
2. They live with their parents
3. They haven’t had a girlfriend in their life, or if they have, it’s been for so short a time it doesn’t count.
4. They have no interest in girls (or say that they don’t).
5. They seem to think themselves intellectually superior to everyone else.

Here’s the deal: open your pants sometime, and take a look at that meat ‘tween your legs. That’s a penis, right? A dork, a Dongle, a dick, cock, pussy-pleaser, cuntripper, whatever you wanna call it, it’s there for a goddamn reason, and it’s not just to run water out of.

Don’t gimme none of that shit about “I wanna focus on my school/ job/ etc before I worry about girls.” You know why? You’re socially crippled as it is, what do you think it’ll be like when you’re out of high school? College? Work? When exactly will you have time? While you’re shunning things like social maturity and interacting with the opposite sex, other people who aren’t afraid of such normal things are snapping up girls that are more than willing to be snapped up. You know what that means? You’re gonna be left with the dregs of human society, who, like you, can’t take care of themselves or their attitudes.

women are fucking people too. They’ve got thoughts, feelings, personalities and attitudes just like you, except they’re more strongly developed than you, because they’re predisposed to be that way. Holy shit, didn’t think of that, didja? Women are social creatures by nature. They socialize with each other the same way we breathe.

Before you get all high and mighty on me, and tell me I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, I’m telling you these things from both first and second-hand experience. You’re not going to get a girl unless you’re socially mature. You’re not going to be socially mature until you get off your high horse. You’re not gonna be able to get off your high horse until you realize you’re the exact same as the ‘bottom-feeding scum’ you think everyone else is.

Don’t get me wrong, you may tell me, “I’m seriously not interested in girls.” Okay, fine. Admit you’re gay. It’s either the one or the other. Either you want a girl you can hug, kiss, fuck, lick, talk to, share things with, or you wanna get bent over and have your shit packed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there’s wonderful elements to being gay, but it’s not my thing. Since it’s not my thing, I can afford to be crude about it.

Admit it. You’re Jealous and fucking scared. you live in perpetual envy of the people who can talk to girls, and fear because you’re afraid of several things, listed in order of priority.
1. Yourself.
2. Your penis.
3. Girls.
4. Rejection.

You’re afraid of yourself, because somehow you got the idea that being self-confident is a bad thing. maybe you got ragged on when you were younger. maybe you were weaker than the others, maybe you got picked on when you tried to be yourself, maybe nobody gave a shit. Guess what, you’re an adult now and you can’t let shit from your fucking childhood hold you down and hold you back. Drop your fucking baggage and fucking step up.

You’re afraid of your penis. Guess what? Every guy has one. We all think about sex. You know the average male thinks about sex every 15 seconds? Don’t fucking deny it, you do too. I’m not saying you’re a sex-crazed fiend, and I’m certainly not saying to hump all and sundry. What I am saying, however, is acknowledge your fucking maleness. Acknowledge, embrace, understand, and fucking use it. Women are attracted to men. That’s the way of the world. If you want to be noticed by women, be a man. That means being upright, responsible, intelligent, assertive, self-possessed, aggressive, competetive, and strong in both mind and body. You’re not going to attract women acting like a timid little boy. Don’t be afraid of the penis. Be proud of it.

You’re afraid of girls. Who wouldn’t be? They control everything, even if they don’t know it. It’s a difference of perspective; the saying goes “They sit on the one place you most want to be” and that’s fucking true. You want their pussy, and they couldn’t care less, they sit on that damn thing all the time. They control whether or not you get to have sex, decent orgasms (yeah, that furtive beating off thing doesn’t compare) reproduce, whatever. You want it with every fiber of your hormone-charged, horny male being, and they couldn’t care less. That’s damn intimidating, right? Of course it is. But guess what? Like I said, Girls are fucking people too. Not only that, but they’re silly people. They worry about the craziest shit, like whether or not they’re appreciated, cared for, loved, whether or not they’re attractive, or what-have-you. They’re not difficult, they’re people. They’re not impossible to understand, because they’re like you and me. They’re not alien creatures, put here to annoy and distract us. They’re the other half of us. They’re certainly not superior to us; they complement us.

It might seem like we argue, deliberate, negotiate, plead and bribe our way into getting pussy, but really, that’s what we call ‘romance’.

You’re afraid of rejection. Guess what? so is everyone else. But it’s nothing to be worried about. as I understand it, 52% of the world’s population is female. That means sooner or later, you’ll find someone that agrees with you and you click. You literally have to keep trying. Don’t fucking give up, that’s weak and stupid. You might die over and over in your stupid fucking video games, but you don’t give up there, why give up with girls?

I’ve systematically proven to you that you’re just the same as everyone else and that women are the same as you. Either you’re straight, and you can fix your little problems, or you’re a fucking faggot that needs to admit who you are and what you want.

That is all.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

First off, The main thing you need to remember is give the girl the 3 A’s.

What you say?! You don’t know the 3 A’s? Well, that’s what I’m here for.

Attention
Affection
Appreciation

Holy shit. Anyone can do that. Simple in theory, harder in practice.

Paying attention seems easy enough, but as time goes on, you find it harder and harder to pay attention. We all know it’s true. There’s a limited amount of kinds of interactions that you can have with your fellow man, so it all starts to get a bit repetitive, doesn’t it? So… how does one pay attention, all the time, every time? Well, if you’re really into getting this girl to love you, you’ll follow active listening tips. Active listening involves a few key things. asking for clarification, following body language, eye contact, all that.

Affection is even more complicated; as we get closer and closer with our women, there’s a certain amount of affection that we display, but there comes a point where we just… stop. we become complacent and inattentive, we take them for granted. There’s two ways to address this issue that I’m a fan of.

1. Never stop pursuing her. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating for 30 minutes or 30 months. IMHO, if you still show an active affectionate interest in her, you’re going to get a bigger payoff.

2. Treat her like a bank. You’re making ‘deposits’ of love, affection, caring, trust, and all that. make sure that the deposits are more than the withdrawls.

Appreciation is even harder than maintaining consistient affection. People are constantly being taken for granted. At work, at home, in social groups, people are expected to behave in certain ways, regardless of whether or not they feel like it. women (IMHO) often feel that they lose their identity as a woman in favor of ‘a person’ or ‘an employee’ or ‘a mother’ or what have you. They like to be reminded of their sexuality, they like to be reminded of their beauty, their essential femaleness. Again, I refer back to the complacency we often gain after being with someone consistiently. They, like any other human being, enjoy being appreciated for themselves.
Women have a very fragile sense of ego and self-worth. Insecurity doesn’t even begin to touch the tip of the iceburg. When airbrushed, cultured and crafted sex symbols are on every billboard, it can be a little intimidating, especially if they feel like someone is beginning to become bored with them. Showing appreciation can be very difficult, and there’s no uniform way of doing it.

So simple, right? Follow these practices, and I guarantee that any woman you interact with (regardless of whether or not you’re romantically pursuing her) will always have a positive perspective on you.

As usual, it’s not rocket science. You just gotta be a little perceptive.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Sociology

The Book of Nestor: Chapter 1.

The majority of problems you can expect to see in your lifetime can be explained by this simple, easy to follow equation:
(10×1=10).

no matter how many different ways you do work the equation, 10 x 1 will ALWAYS equal 10. Try it standing on your head. It’s still 10.

This equation is representative of the daily grind we deal with in life. Are you familiar with the term ‘Practicing Insanity’? Practicing Insanity is simply this: doing the same thing, over and over again, simply because we know no different, or because we are afraid to break the bonds of order, complacency, and comfort zones. Often times, women will practice insanity by remaining with abusive boyfriends- or an even healthier example is leaving one… only to find that she’s with another.

People are creatures of habit. People like predictable things. People are predictable things. All people can be expected to follow along with a set pattern; the only work you have to do is discover the nature of the pattern.

People are inherently destructive creatures.

People are social, with women being the most social people of them all.

There is always a crucial lesson to be learned, and it usually happens to come from an unexpected source.

Always accept a person as is: specifically and thusly: They are people. omit everything: gender, race, sexual preference, color, creed, religious nature, social status. Accept them as an equal and only allow them to determine where they should stand with their actions.

Action speaks a helluva lot louder than words. so shut up.

A sound body will only come from a sound mind.

Fall in love with yourself.

If you cannot laugh at anything, you fail at life.

Alway strive for your full potential and never hold yourself back. to do anything less is cheating yourself, and setting yourself up for a miserable, empty life, filled with pain and failure.

Don’t be a victim of circumstance.

Hold pride in the things you do. Hold pride in yourself. Have some fucking dignity.

Love is a beautiful thing. Lust is a gibbering moron on a pogo stick. learn the difference.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

I think democracy is a failure as a practice. As long as Democracy offers freedom to the lowest common denominator, the strength of that freedom will only be as strong as that denominator. With everyone claiming ‘special interest’ and gaining ‘guaranteed rights’ the system will inexorably fail. There’s no guaranteed rights, equal to all men. As an analogy, i give to a man dying in the desert. Does he have the same rights to water that a infant, drowning in a bathtub has? two totally different people and two totally different circumstances, but their rights are noticably different.

Freedom, in my mind, is the removal of boundaries and strictures. the absense of law and control. You cannot freely give this to people who have not rightfully earned it, to do so invites corruption and destruction from within.

Freedom should be protected and represented, stood up for and defended. Who should earn freedom? The people willing to fight for it.

Democracy, like communism and religion, only functions as an idea. Once you add people to the equation, then it fails. Peopl have an inherent dislike for responsibility. people are intrinsically weak and stupid. without focus, discipline, and attention, they will not achieve anything.

I say that freedoms, liberties, and rights should be earned. I say that people should not be arbitrarily handed freedoms simply because of the soil they stand on.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

So I was back in college when this happened.

This ‘pagan’ guy who was fairly and reasonably articulate gave me this book to read which was all about this neo-modernistic ‘future warrior’ crap, where it systematically called for the pacification of the modern man, that aggression was a negative and destructive art; passivity was the way, a ‘go along to get along’ attitude was so ingrained, I couldn’t help but be amazed as the words HERD MENTALITY seemed to scream from between the lines.

Where did anyone get the idea that an aggressive, proactive personality was a hotbed for negative (violent) and destructive frame of mind? After some careful thought and a little bit of research, I’ve found that the roots could very well stem from around the sixties/ seventies, right around the time of the Vietnam war. You see, when draft-dodging started up, there was a flurry of support from the female community; there were even bumper stickers that said, “Women say yes to men who say no.” meaning that if a man were to dodge the responsibility of serving God, his fellowman, and the Government, then he was deserving of sex. Now, back then, this defiance was practically sacriledge; the idea at the time was that a man who was well thought of in his community was a man that spent time in the service, served his country, and spread the glory of democracy to the god-fearing heathens around the world. back then, it was perfectly fine to use ethnic and racial slurs in reference to ‘the enemy’. An interesting use of the Almighty Vagina to control the (relatively) simple minds of the men who were just coming out of high school with no real idea of who or what they were.

So, this blind pacifism was spread through the male community; nay, not just a pacifism, but a embracing of the so-called ‘feminine side’ of men. It was suddenly required of us to cry. To feel things. To gaze at sunsets and make long, dolorous sighs at paintings we held no real reverence for.

Mankind has lost its face. How can you define someone as a man when there is no genuine male characteristics, when they have literally been drowned in the Estrogen of ignorance? The death of the male, testosterone charged, assertive, agressive attitude went with not a bang, but instead a whimper at a lovingly patterned drapery that matches well with the upholstery.

Now, I’m not saying that stereotypical visages are a thing to embrace. But I will give you some food for thought.

A college professor divided a room of men and women, and handed out long strips of red cloth. He told everyone to tie a cloth around a scar, an injury, the site of a broken bone. Every man had to request more than the initial five strips. a majority of men were almost swathed in red from head to toe. women, on the other hand, yes, they did have their uses of the red strips, but the thrust of the result was this: The men had substantially more red than the women. What makes men court injury, damage and accumulate scars more than women? Why are men more prone to damage than women?

A young porn starlet was interviewed, and she said, “I believe that the men are the backbone, and the women are supposed to support the backbone. And you don’t want your backbone breaking on you, do ya?”

I believe in traditional gender roles to a point. This ties strongly to my affinity for D/s, but it also encompasses more.

The face of Mankind should not be a beast, but instead a Warrior. A Warrior has a motive, a cause, a drive, and also an incentive. A Warrior truly has a sense of duty, of responsibility, and the strength to achieve every goal he sets. He knows when it’s time to take no for an answer, but he also knows when that simply won’t do, and to put his foot down and step up to challenge. He does not emphasize sensitivity or collapse through effeminate behavior nor does he adopt a blindly stoic attitude that precludes the expression of emotion, but instead works through his emotions as strengths, rather than debilitations.

Passivity is not a strength. Go along to get along is not a strength. effeminate simpering and abandonment of your male roots is not a strength. Dedication, confidence, resolve, guts, responsibility, drive, ambition and aggression are not things to shun or live in fear of. Rather they should once again be embraced and adopted back into the circle as they once did. Timothy Leary once said, “Think for yourself. Question Authority.” and you should not accept the movement to abolish the iconoclastic ideals that define us as men. That define us as individuals.

That sick, pathetic simpering, whining, crying part of you that lies awake at night, quaking in tremulous fear at the shadows, at life, at the unknown is not yours. It does not belong to you. That’s why it does not feel right, feel normal, feel healthy. It was put there by the movement to ‘go along to get along’. It was put there by the all-seeing, ever knowing Crowd. The blind indifference of conformity and self-debasement for the sake of societal gain. Ego is not a negative word. It has no negative connotations whatsoever.

God gave you feet so you could stand up. A wide flaring pelvis so you could stand upright, and vertebrae in the neck to hold your head high.

God also gave you the ability to cow your neck, to kneel down, to lower yourself, but not for self degradation; but instead so that you could help others stand for themselves.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Sociology

Your average person lives in a world of fear and guilt. It doesn’t matter that they lead wholesome, worthwhile lives. There’s a guilt that ‘someone in authority’ will inevitiably call them to account for their actions.

I’ve always been a fan of psychology and sociology. I took courses in each in both high school and college. I don’t have the attention span for them to dedicate anything more than a casual study, but while in college, there was this one lab we did. Approach a random person you’re somewhat familiar with. A friend, colleague, accquintance, co-worker, etc. Looking very serious, accusatory, even, ask them this: “Did you really think you’d get away with it?” The obvious reaction would be confusion. “Huh?” Surprisingly enough, though, that’s not the case. The typical reaction is guilt.

There was a lot of theories postulated as to why people would feel guilty. One was that people are afraid that they live a lie. Think about that for a moment. People are afraid that they live a lie. What lie is that? People are ashamed of their successes. People are afraid to admit their own self-worth. People live in fear. Fear, and guilt.

The fact that people live in fear and guilt (unreasonably, I’m not talking about people who deservingly live in these emotions) isn’t what interests me. What interests me is why.

=================

I bring this up because I’m talking about my Heroes. If the average person lives in guilt and fear, my heroes are the people that laughingly and happily defy that ideal. To live in fear is to live imprisioned, to define your existence through the bars on the windows. You’re only free to express yourself within boundaries. Often the fear and guilt (my opinion) is that society itself will call you to account for your actions. Maybe, in fact, we’re so terrified of being ostracized from the community that we instinctively become trapped in a fear-guilt loop? I dunno, and I’m not prone to speculation.

This is an example of breaking ultimately useless and crippling ties, of tearing down the bars of your self-imposed cage. In this example, Tragicsmile is one person I hold a deep respect for- he recognized the need to stop pissing and moaning, and enjoy life. There is no shame in doing things unconventionally. There is no shame that you shouldn’t feel, unless it’s truly deserving. Isn’t it liberating, knowing that doing things unconventionally can achieve an inner peace?

If cleaving oneself unto society’s strictures and norms removes a selfish, egocentric identity, you’ll lose yourself. breaking away from society and doing something radically free returns you to a state where you have to deal with the one person you’re really terrified of. Yourself. No one is more harsh and punishing on someone than themself. And if you can come to terms with yourself, come to know and understand yourself so well that you are unshakable, you’ll never feel that overwhelming guilt and fear again. (again, my opinion)

Wow, that was a bit disjointed, and for that, I humbly apologize.

1. People live in guilt and fear. It’s my opinion that this stems from societal pressures to conform.
2. People lose themselves while in tune with societal conformity.
3. People are afraid of being held accountable for their lives.
4. People are afraid that they’ll be held accountable for not being true to themselves.
5. The people I respect and admire are the ones who are most in tune with themselves, and cast aside the belief that conformance to societal norms and mores is essential.

I invite you all to strip your minds naked, tear away any preconcieved notions, and read Ayn Rand’s Anthem. It’s a book about individuality and society. More importantly, it’s about the utter awesomeness of the word we use only in negative ways these days. The Ego.

tragicsmile, If you’ve got any problems with me referencing your LJ entry, let me know and I’ll be more than willing to remove it.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Sociology

Before we talk about my heroes, we have to talk about the anatomy of heroes, and the creation thereof.

A hero is mythical and insubstantial. A hero is literally ten feet tall and invincible, insane and superhuman. There’s a distance between the hero and the society that spawns it. A hero exists slightly outside of the light of civilization.

One is not simply born a hero. A hero is created through society’s belief. That’s the keystone of the Hero’s power: Belief. His power stems from the people that believe in him. Belief and faith are powerful energies. If someone can believe into existence a souless, bloodsucking vampire that preys on hapless virgins by the light of the moon, has far-ranging powers that allow him to ride moonbeams as insubstantial dust, it’s also belief that says that a simple wooden stake through the heart will destroy such a fearsome and terrifying creature.

Let’s take a look at the society in question, and the different kinds of people that make up that society.

It’s my belief that there’s a limited amount of types of people.
There are victims. naturally born, weak, sickly ones whose sole purpose is fodder for those who prey on them. I believe that we, as society evolved the need for murderers, rapists, and social deviants; as we have no natural predators that weed out our weak and sickly. What I’m saying is this: as a herd runs across the savannah, the weak and sickly ones fall behind, allowing the natural predators to strike. Would this not be something that’s designed, ordained? If everyone were naturally and perfectly designed, there would be no balance; I’m saying that sooner or later there is a genetic boundary that says randomly “You are born to be food.” Society created the need for predators, and we fufilled our own need, and satisfy it through the creation of victims. it’s a self-perpetuating cycle. So, there are victims.

Next, we have survivors. A survivor bears a striking resemblance to victims, except that they have one additional attribute, they survive. They continue on, wavering beween the leaders and the victims, defining existence not from being food for others, or leading others, but being the comfortable middle ground that exists between them. These are the workhorses of any society, the middle of the pack runners, the people who are satisfied with mediocrity and following in the footsteps of others. No trailblazers, these!

Then, you have your leaders. Your leaders, be they nominated for the position, or through meritous deed, are leaders because they want to lead, to forge a path, to control not only themselves and their direction, but also influence those around them. Leaders define their existence through what they can do, not only for themselves, but for others as well.

So these are the kinds of people that spawn heroes. Let’s take a look at the anatomy of a hero.

I reiterate: a hero is apart from the light of civilization. They hold themselves apart; that’s one of the defining characteristics that define them. They are apart, they are outside. They work at cross-purposes to society’s wishes. They break the bonds of conformity and normalcy, they destroy the bonds we impose upon ourselves. They inspire. They reach down from their impossible, superhuman heights, and they lift our chins up, forcing us to see at least a glimpse of the bigger picture.

A Hero is hopelessly insane. They defy our rules, the structure of society, violating our standards, mores, values, trends, basically everything we decide is ‘right’, ‘normal’, ‘accepted as common sense’. A Hero will lasso cyclones and defy logic. He typically does it with a smile on his face, too.

A Hero is impervious, invincible, and immutable. He’s an icon. as a representative of our hopes and dreams, they hold a quality to them that defies mortality, an impervious ideal that can withstand the greatest of assaults.

Why, then, do we believe in something that is outside, utterly batshit insane, and impervious? Because, at the very bottom of the list, a hero is essentially human. It’s that essential humanity that inspires and drives us. They’re ‘one of us’ and if they have any real worth to us, they never forget that essential human aspect.

===============

My heroes are none of these things. My heroes are normal, everyday people, people that seperate themselves from the pack. People that lift their own heads up from staring at their own shoes as we all march in the traces, lift their heads high and can see above and beyond the hunched shoulders of the rest of us. Those of us that break away from the herd because that’s not what we need. We don’t need the herd, though to use the herd to accomplish our goals is simplicity in and of itself. We have no need or desire to exist in the light of civilization. We can break away and live without regrets or remorse at will. Those of us that cannot and will not be restrained; those of us that are free and defiant.

Those are my heroes.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

Today we’ll talk about behavior patterns. volumes can be written (or spoken) about the way a person stands, the tilt of his head, the way he moves. the more he moves and acts, the way he interacts with others, tells more about who they are and what they’re thinking than anything he’ll say.

Now, you might say that each person is unique, and each one will do things in a different way, and to some extent you’re right, until we start adding certain universal constants.

Mankind is at turns, social and antisocial. He moves between these two extremes vaguely, drifting between these polar opposites at any one time.

Mankind likes things set, ordered, and patterned. He likes routine. Of course, just like he is at turns social and anti social, he is organized and disorganized, logical and chaotic.

societal and peer influences also control and curb his movements. some people prefer the straight handshake, others prefer the over and under handshake, etc, etc.

These are the foundations that everything else is pretty much built off. Other variables factor in, even so obscure and ambigious as time of day, the weather, etc.

But the point is, once you start grasping the fundamentals, you can predict people’s actions and behaviors. Once you interact with them, you understand that there’s personal constants as well.

Study Sociology. It’s fucking badass. You learn about traits, mores, belief systems, trends, counterculturism, nilhism, all sorts of facinating things that really point towards a more… hive psychology. the psychology and methodology of society as a whole.

Then, study psychology. The psychology of the individual. Watch people. your brain cracks open like a walnut and you sit there, gape-jawed, wondering exactly why the fuck it was all a mystery to you before.

People are predictable. once you know the patterns, you can anticipate the end result of any series of actions and interactions.
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Once the wonder wears off, You have a surprise waiting for you. The surprise is this: There are no more surprises. no matter what kind of interaction you have with people, as long as you’re perceptive, you know exactly what they will do. A beginning conversation reveals the conclusion.

It’s also very boring. You can’t ignore it.

Nestor Dissertation, Imported piece, Quick Post, Rant, Sociology

What’re you guys doing for Halloween?

I usually do this: I’ll post it in instructional form, so you can do it too.

1. Go to salvation army, Goodwill, Deseret Industries, whatever thrift store you have. Buy pants two or three sizes larger than you. a couple oversized shirts, too.
2. purchase clothesline. the good cotton kind, as thick as your thumb.
3. Chad and I rock and wall climb, so we have climbing harnesses. dress in pants and put on the harness. put the pants on over the ones you are wearing to conceal the harness.
4. Braid a noose with the clothesline. Not hard to do.
5. Get hoisted up in tree outside your house by the harness. the good harnesses have a clip in the back. if they don’t, use a carribeaner to secure. run the climbing rope your back. put on your shirts to conceal the climbing rope.
6. drape noose around your neck. get hoised up into the tree by the climing ropes. secure tightly.
7. adjust the noose so that it looks like you’ve been hanged. (Make sure not to strangle yourself, ‘kay?)
8. wait for the kids.

When the kids see you, grunt groan, and make choked, strangling noises. move around a bit.

enjoy.

the kids really scream.

as an added bonus, fill your pockets with hard candy. pelt the kids.

Nestor Imported piece, Quick Post, Sociology