Nestor's Cola

I’ve been a fan of Hurt for a while. When they came out with their first album, I really didn’t know what I was getting into (haha) but I fucking loved every bit of it. Their first album was was titled appropriately enough; Volume 1. Their second album was … fucking amazing, but their titles are less than inspired; Volume 2. (haha) It’s hard rock; if you’re a fan of the genre I highly recommend them; they’ve got this sort of Tool-style vibe going on, maybe with a bit of… I dunno, Cold and Staind (before either of them decided to go emofag and instead of rocking out with edgy, gritty, sometimes painful lyrics, crooning about how much they suck) grunge and raw emotion.

I’m not a fan of the average sophmore album. From past experience, you just assume that it’s going to suck by default and the thought of shelling out hard earned cash on an album that potentially blows donkey choad makes me want to blow my groceries. – But it’s not at all that bad.

I have some studio cuts from them almost ready for download- the radio station I listen to had them in their studios for a small set, and the links are on their website for download (I’ll be mirroring them) and they’ll be up later. Remember to right-click, save as.

tracks: 01 02 03 04. Enjoy.

Links verified working 02/03/2008

…
“What do you think about the planetarian?
That beautiful twinkling of eternity that will never fade, no matter when.
All the stars in the skies are waiting for you
What do you think about the planetarian?”
…

It’s a kinetic novel from the makers of such famous titles as Kanon, Air, and a lot of other games – Key/VisualArts. Refreshing your memory, a kinetic novel is a bishoujo-game…minus the game part. Its literally a visual novel to the furthest possible extent. You don’t make any choices or anything, the entire kinetic novel is just reading, listening, and watching, so it really is just like a novel in visual form. Another emotional tear-jerker, and just as beautifully done as (IMHO) Narcissu.

No download this time, it’s an easy-to-obtain game through legitimate and illegitimate means. insani has an english patch, though I’d say a good portion of the torrents out there already have the patch included. If you can, try and get the voiced version. It’s fucking great. As far as story and music go, it’s pretty standard fare, but I dunno, sweet, annoying, broken little Reverie just … got to me and by the end of it all I went a big rubbery one.

Narcissu, for me, is one of the clearly defining games for the Visual Novel genre. I mean, come on.

A Visual Novel is essentially a kinetic experience similar to reading a book in your hands, except you get extras. You click instead of turning the pages, you get music and sound effects, sometimes voices, and pictures that all add to an overall experience. As soon as I can maintain a stable connection long enough, I’ll upload a copy of the game for you to download, in the meantime Here’s a consolation prize; the website where you can read all about the game and also download it from there. You fucking love me. I tagged this with ‘Adult Games’ not because of any sex or nudity or anything but because it deals with serious issues and takes a certain amount of effort to understand what’s going on.

Given the same circumstances, I would have answered her, “Would you mind… if I followed you in?”. Fuck returning to 7F, or the other alternative.

You read the manga, and it’s pretty badass, i mean, six volumes have been translated and released, and apparently there’s 9-10 total, and the story is pretty awesome. cute lolis with big gun, bang bang bang. Shit like that. The first anime wasn’t too bad, I mean, the characters looked kind of freakish, but what can you do? in fact, the second season’s designs are a little closer to the mangas’ than the first season, but watching the second season is alot like watching Ah! My Goddess. You know it’s good, but why in god’s name is it so dry?

Jury’s still out on GSG: Il Teatrino. Needs more Triela. Always needs more Triela.

I hate Christians, I hate Christianity, I think they’re all fucking stupid. I said before, on a forum I frequent “If we’re to abdicate Reason on an unproven absentee God, then we might as well start truthfully believing in absurdities as the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Where are their Churches and Mosques and Televangelists? You cannot accept the realities of these fictional entities, yet any faith-driven religion has you believe in something very similar! Believe in something unprovable! Be sure to drink your ovaltine!” And it’s true.

And I hate -hate- with a passion the absurd mentality that the entire faith is based off! We’re flawed and imperfect, broken and worthless and the only way we can achieve any lasting rewards is through service to your fellowman. You have to demean and debase yourself; destroy who you really are in order to achieve rewards. Here’s the kicker: You get the rewards after you die. It’s like a great cosmic joke with you as the punchline.

For all intents and purposes, we are the dominant species on this planet. We have subjugated most of the world to our whims. Our dominion is absolute. I don’t know about you, but I have fucking pride in the things we’ve accomplished.  One thousand years ago, we discovered the Scientific Method. We conquered the Atlantic and crossed from the Old World into the New World. Today we have medicines, computers, global communication, musics, unparalleled artistry and buildings that scrape the sky and trap clouds inside. On an individual level, each person grows up with a general understanding of world history, their own national history, math skills, science knowledge, and the ability to function in a society.

Christianity takes that all away. Human achievement is worthless. Material possessions are only as good as they can be so that you can give them to someone else. Your life only has meaning when you suffer, and when you suffer, it is then, only then, that God showers his love on you. What a fucking sadist, that he demands such masochistic behavior from his chosen while at the same time concealing his existence whatsoever!

I’ll close this with a couple quotes from Ayn Rand and Leonard Peikoff

Ayn Rand:

“They claim that they perceive a mode of being superior to your existence on this earth. The mystics of spirit call it “another dimension,” which consists of denying dimensions. The mystics of muscle call it “the future,” which consists of denying the present. To exist is to possess identity. What identity are they able to give to their superior realm? They keep telling you what it is not, but never tell you what it is. All their identifications consist of negating: God is that which no human mind can know, they say—and proceed to demand that you consider it knowledge—God is non-man, heaven is non-earth, soul is non-body, virtue is non-profit, A is non-A, perception is non-sensory, knowledge is non-reason. Their definitions are not acts of defining, but of wiping out”

Leonard Peikoff:

“Every argument for God and every attribute ascribed to Him rests on a false metaphysical premise. None can survive for a moment on a correct metaphysics.

For instance, God is infinite. Nothing can be infinite, according to the Law of Identity. Everything is what it is, and nothing else. It is limited in its qualities and in its quantity: it is this much, and no more. “Infinite” as applied to quantity does not mean “very large”: it means “larger than any specific quantity.” That means: no specific quantity—i.e., a quantity without identity. This is prohibited by the Law of Identity.

Is God the creator of the universe? There can be no creation of something out of nothing. There is no nothing.

Is God omnipotent? Can he do anything? Entities can act only in accordance with their natures; nothing can make them violate their natures …

“God” as traditionally defined is a systematic contradiction of every valid metaphysical principle. The point is wider than just the Judeo-Christian concept of God. No argument will get you from this world to a supernatural world. No reason will lead you to a world contradicting this one. No method of inference will enable you to leap from existence to a “super-existence.”"

Next week, I give you  downloadables!

The following is a short description of Objectivism given by Ayn Rand in 1962:

At a sales conference at Random House, preceding the publication of Atlas Shrugged, one of the book salesmen asked me whether I could present the essence of my philosophy while standing on one foot. I did as follows:

1. Metaphysics: Objective Reality
2. Epistemology: Reason
3. Ethics: Self-interest
4. Politics: Capitalism

If you want this translated into simple language, it would read: 1. “Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed” or “Wishing won’t make it so.” 2. “You can’t eat your cake and have it, too.” 3. “Man is an end in himself.” 4. “Give me liberty or give me death.”

If you held these concepts with total consistency, as the base of your convictions, you would have a full philosophical system to guide the course of your life. But to hold them with total consistency—to understand, to define, to prove and to apply them—requires volumes of thought. Which is why philosophy cannot be discussed while standing on one foot—nor while standing on two feet on both sides of every fence. This last is the predominant philosophical position today, particularly in the field of politics.

My philosophy, Objectivism, holds that:

1. Reality exists as an objective absolute—facts are facts, independent of man’s feelings, wishes, hopes or fears.
2. Reason (the faculty which identifies and integrates the material provided by man’s senses) is man’s only means of perceiving reality, his only source of knowledge, his only guide to action, and his basic means of survival.
3. Man—every man—is an end in himself, not the means to the ends of others. He must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life.
4. The ideal political-economic system is laissez-faire capitalism. It is a system where men deal with one another, not as victims and executioners, nor as masters and slaves, but as traders, by free, voluntary exchange to mutual benefit. It is a system where no man may obtain any values from others by resorting to physical force, and no man may initiate the use of physical force against others. The government acts only as a policeman that protects man’s rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals or foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but, historically, has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church.

Copyright 1962 by Times-Mirror Co.

I plan on expanding on why I copy/ pasted this from here, but right now I’m at work and cannot be bothered to do so. The things that capture my attention here are #1 and #2.

I fell in love with humanity in Junior High. Well, maybe not love. but enamored. I was interested in things, magical words like group dynamics and hive mind and things like that. I started reading up on sociology. That stuff is neat! Values, mores, traditions, trends, fads, nilhism, the whole gamut. It was like taking the society as a whole and opening it’s guts to see whats going on behind the scenes. Politics, leaders, evironmental factors, nature vs nurture, the whole thing.

Suddenly it started becoming suspiciously familiar. if the collective movements of society could be defined and boiled down, rendered into factual data and specific unassailable truths, could not the same thing be said for individuals? I took psychology in High school, one class. My friend Chad took me up to the community college and I bought a plethora of psychology books. I started reading.

At the time, I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, but as I grew, more and more, i learned. I spend hours, days, at the airport, at the mall, anywhere people gathered in groups and I watched them. body language, individuals in groups, interacting. movements, conversations, expressions, emotions, all that. I read and I read, and it started dawning on me that what held true for the group held true for the individual.

People’s lives, actions, emotive responses, backgrounds, all that stems from a list of predefined and categorized variables. understanding society, their role, their upbringing, family variables, all that, these things all are set things. I stopped listening. Humanity is wonderful and unique. we are not predictable. But it’s true. We all come from the same waste, we all take a little from column A and some from B and dashes of C, D, and E.

Do you know how crushing that is? That psychology isn’t the study of “how to help sick people” it’s merely a matter of sifting through the dross until you find a set of key variables that match, stringing them together on a chain, then determining the next logical step. Like Chemistry when you balance an equation, it’s simply adding and removing variables until the equation is sound.

So, what have we learned? That everyone comes from categories. Well, if that’s true, and there are categories, wouldn’t that be too easy to exploit? Of course. people are emminently exploitable. Look for the right ‘hook’ and you can dance them to your tune any damn time and any damned way you want. figure out their categories, and use it to your advantage. I was, am, and will be a terrible person, because once you see how it works, you can’t unsee it. You can discern motives and wants, desires and dreams, and you sit next to someone, hear them mention something and know exactly how to turn them to your side.

It’s sad. Really. Terribly sad.

Let me teach you a little bit, here. My grandpa (the one still alive) used to give me advice. Except it wasn’t given, and it wasn’t advice. He’d say, “Take some instruction.” and he’d speak, and I’d take that instruction.

“Take some instruction.”

Let me tell you about practicing insanity. It’s an awesome concept. People practice insanity all the time, throughout their lives.

visualise in your head, if you will, a metal table. on this metal table, there a metallic, electrified ball. You’ve been told to pick that ball up. Practicing insanity is this, simplified. You keep grabbing the ball, and getting shocked. You get shocked, think about it, and then, stupified that you haven’t managed to pick the ball up, you grab it once more, to recieve that shock. the cycle repeats itself.

Take some instruction.

Simply doing the same thing over and over will not bring about a valid solution. especially if that action NEVER SOLVES THE PROBLEM THE FIRST TIME.

Class is finished.

Our view of the world around us is in constant flux. It’s a compilation of not only sensory stimuli, but also the experiences and interactions of people around us. In addition to that, though, is our own perceptions that shape the world around us. If we believe that today is going to be a ‘shitty day’, our own perceptions will influence and effectively bring about a ‘shitty day’.

These are things we accept as factual. Why do they have an inclusion in today’s rant? I’m going to discuss the ‘nice guy’, and some of the common perceptions he has on reality, and also where I feel he’s terribly wrong. Of course, this will be completely biased and based heavily based on my own perceptions and observations, hence the inclusion into today’s rant.

Women often feel their own perceptions of themselves to be lost. That’s perfectly fine, men do the same thing. We don’t view ourselves as men, instead we view ourselves as employees, employers, Another grunt in the march of life, another nine to fiver, a father, a mother, an actor, What have you.

Women like to be acknowledged as sexual creatures, even if the thrust of the acknowledgement is not sexual in and of itself. Women like to feel desired, lusted after, and needed. Appreciated for their capabilities as a potential mate. This, I think, is the crucial flaw in ‘nice guy’ thinking. They feel that thinking of women as sexual objects is wrong. Crude, immoral, carnal, demeaning and degrading, not to mention rude and disgusting.

Certainly explaining to a complete stranger that you fantasize about them when beating off late at night is rude and disgusting, but compliments, flirting, and a general presence of ‘I am male, and I want to bed you’ kind of attitude generally gets the idea across faster than a stuttered attempt at friendship.

It boils down to a certain kind of… presence, you could say, If the tales about pheremones and humans are true, then when you’re admiring a woman and definitely noticing her more sexual attributes, and she picks up on this, then yes, she will respond with that sort of reaction. It’s like, “Rawr, I’m a male, and i wanna fuck.” Again, I reiterate: It’s not a bad thing. You’re expressing part of your personality, part of who you are, and she will respond in kind, as long as she finds you appropriately desirable. That’s where social skills, tact, and conversation tactics come in. These things are beyond the scope of this article, and won’t be touched on again.

The ‘nice guy’ routine is an attempt to access her from a nonthreatening position, a cheap shot at an unprotected spot. women like friends for entirely different reasons than they like lovers, and friends are privvy to information that lovers may not recieve.

Now, It’s been my experience that women often look at male friends as something akin to a younger brother. Nonthreatening, and completely nonsexual. That’s a perception I’ve seen, time and time again. ‘Nice Guys’ don’t understand this. They’ve wrongfully and shamefully hidden away their own sexual desires, and assume that women do the same. Their perception demands that these women exude perfection and don’t have ‘nasty, dirty, sexy thoughts’. And then, when this woman they feel is pure suddenly dates a man they feel is ‘undeserving’ of her, they feel insulted and woulnded. It’s the woman’s fault. She’s blind. She can’t see ‘the real man behind the mask”. That’s a misperception. She’s far from blind. She does not see you exuding any male sexual attributes, that aura of male aggression that flips all her switches. The one that does flip those switches projects that aura and gets the girl.

Getting back to a particular point, it’s easy to forget that you are a sexual creature. you can’t hump your boss or coworkers, you can’t come across as sexually agressive, or ready for sex all the time, things don’t work that way. you lose sight of your sexual nature. The reason why men and women do what they do is because they suddenly remember what it’s like to lust and be lusted after, to desire and be desired. Again, your average nice guy believes that these things must be squashed; the relationship must be true and pure and entirely nonsexual. That the girl should date the guy, not for a want of sex (nice guys mispercieve this as ‘fear’, as if the women are afraid of having to deal with the threat of sexual advances) but for a want of emotional fulfillment.

Don’t get me wrong, emotional fulfillment is fine, but the fact remains, it’s only a piece of the pie. Additionally, It’s my belief that the ‘Nice Guy’ is actually remarkably selfish, he’s not looking to fulfill her emotional needs, but instead to fulfill his own. She should comfort and satisfy him. Pretty underhanded, when you factor in the fact that he’s trying to get at her feelings from the standpoint of ‘just friends’ wouldn’t you think? So, we have a ‘Nice Guy’ who is sneaky, underhanded, and exploitive of her emotions. Doesn’t seem too ‘Nice’ to me. One thrilling example I’ll call your attention to is this ‘Nice Guy’ who refuses to this day to look at an attractive woman and admire her sexually appealing attributes, to an almost violent level, specifically; if you invite him to gaze on her assets, he will threaten to hurt you. He feels that viewing these attributes and acknowledging her as a sexual creature demeans and degrades her.

In conclusion: To deny your own perception of yourself as a male sexual creature is far worse than denying that a woman has sexual attributes. To deny yourself, even a portion of yourself, is to condemn yourself as less than a human being. If you were to do this… then I believe you are in fact deserving and even inviting the condemnation you feel that the world visits upon you.

Are you the man?

Everyone wants to be the man. Not the man, but more importantly, The Man. Now, I’m not talking about some hoodwink that fucks shit up and lays responsibility “It wasn’t me, it was The Man”, I’m talking about The Man. The one everyone looks up to. The one who is calm in the face of adversity. Strong in moral fortitude, and won’t back down, no matter what the cost. He’s kind (but not a bitchfag) versatile (but not spineless) bold (but not arrogant) Strong (but not overbearing) and calm (but not stoned). A Man’s man, but also a Ladies’ man. someone who can fit in with any company, can look natural, sampling brandy and cigars, or yelling out battle cries for his favorite team. A cross between James Bond, Hugh Hefner, a dash of Robin Williams, and whatever sports star/ action hero/ rock superstar you feel is necessary.

A bland stereotype that has faded and frayed at the edges. More than that, however, it’s an Icon. An ideal. Everyone wants to be The Man, but how does one become The Man?

How does one know that they have become a man in the first place, let alone The Man?

In Africa, a tribe will cough out a 12 year old boy. He will hunt and kill, skin and scrape, he will journey out and accomplish tasks set forth by the village elders. He’ll return, and in a long ceremony, he will be educated in tribal knowledge. One of the Village Elders will punch the boy in the mouth, and knock out a tooth. “That tooth is for Adam” they say. “That’s the price of being a man.” once he returns, he makes his own hut, he is a man, respected and treated as such. Native Americans had a similar rite, in the Northwest, they would send out a young brave, and he would fast for days. He would build himself a pillar of stones, and he would make for himself three songs: One song about his prowess as a man; One about his tribe, and finally, one about the Great White Spirit. He would (about this time, due to starvation and dehydration, become delerious) have a vision, and he would mark on himself a symbol. If he returned, He would be a man. The Anasazi would send their boys on similar vision quests.

There is always a price to be paid for manhood within ancient rites of passage. As civilization has progressed, such ‘barbaric’ practices have been outlawed. Boys grow up and have no idea what is expected of them. With the increase of broken homes and failed relationships, most boys are raised by women, who I’m not entirely sure know just what to expect and understand about the strange breed of humanity known as Man. Don’t get me wrong, they certainly do their best, But it’s like working on a particular automobile all your life, and then suddenly given a different type of vehicle. Is that the fuel pump, or fuel injector? Manual or automatic? Women may try their best, but a Man will know how to raise Men.

But, where, exactly, have the Men gone? without a defining factor that isolates and identifies a boy from his peers as a Man, he is merely an Adult, in a sea of them, just as equally bewildered as his mother before him. He’s filled with half-baked notions and ideals, farcical practices adopted simply because they’re expedient, and they get the job done, rather than because they are rooted in true maturity and divination of focused thought.

I say that without a ritualized and defined rite of passage, we have a decentralized and unfocused sea of overgrown boys, confused and frightened that sooner or later, a real Man will show up and take away the things they have hoarded. I say that the price of maturity and respect come with the rite of blood, that Men should be identified and marked, that throughout the development and growth of boys, that they are put to the test. A Man knows responsibility, and embraces it. A boy will accept it simply because he has to. Because it’s been thrust upon him. (Oftentimes by his own mother, to be “The Man of the House”.)

A Man will stand in the face of adversity, because he has paid the price for his maturity. He wears his scars of trials and tribulations proudly, not because he is boastful, but because they seperate himself from the children. A Man will be flexible, and adapt to change, because he knows that the law of survival in this jungle we call civilization is brutal: Adapt or Die. He will not cave and buckle because he understands the expectations that are placed on him; even if he doesn’t, he need only look at those scars he wears, probe the missing socket in his mouth with a questing tongue, and he will know that the price of breaking is a loss greater than he can bear. He understands the risks he must take, and does so intelligently; the scars he bears are a reminder that he should wear them, and no one else, and so he is bold, intelligently, thoughtfully. He is kind, because to be without humanity, compassion, and respect for those that are weaker than himself would mean that he is naught but a monster, fit only to be destroyed by Men.