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Every month I buy an eclectic mix of magazines- Kerrang! Elle, Company, Cosmopolitan and Classic Bike. However I’ve read two articles of late, one in Elle and one in Cosmopolitan that has disturbed me. To be honest, I only read Cosmopolitan for the sex tips but that’s beside the point.

In Cosmopolitan the article was on their “Women of the Year awards”. And it was discussing two ex professional models who have launched their own range using only “Plus Size Models.” Intrigued, I continued to read, expecting it to be referring to Beth Ditto types. So you imagine my horror when I discovered that a “plus size model” is actually anyone over a size 8! Rendering me “plus size.”

It was the article in Elle however that really got to me. “He doesn’t really love your curves”, a woman’s perspective on a boyfriend she had who refused to have sex with her because she’d put on a few pounds. If I was that woman, rather than cry and starve myself to keep him, I’d tell him to fuck off, and point out areas where perhaps he could improve his physique. Yes, I have made grown men cry……

I read articles like this or see on the covers of the slightly lower brow gossip glossies photos of celebrities looking like cadavers. And then get confused as to why people get confused as to where all these cases of anorexia and bulimia come from…….

To me, a size 8 is more along the lines of a teenage girl, still in the clutches of puberty, it should most certainly not be considered healthy for a grown woman to be a size 8. We, in the West live in a world of plenty, and we are HORRIFIED by images of third world poverty and people who have no choice in starvation. So why, for the love of God do so many people in the developed world, some of the wealthiest and most powerful nations in on this planet, choose to starve? Spend their wealth on Colonic irrigations and Laxatives (Bulimia for the person who doesn’t like being sick), Diet Pills, Gastric Bands and Liposuction? This obsession to be skeletal is a plague on our society worse than any other. We are all repulsed and appalled every time a “Save the Children” advert comes on TV, showing the desperate skeletal faces of African children who haven’t been fed in months. So I ask you this world- Who the hell decided this “look” was so much sexier on a grown woman?

Whoever it was, I’d like to think (for their sake) they’re already dead or contemplating suicide because by the time I’m finished with them, they’re going to wish they were…..

I have spent 18 years of my life suffering at the hands of this society wide obsession with weight and I will not suffer any more.

Well, here are the numbers involved. And I’m proud of them. I’m 5 feet 2.5 inches tall, size 6 feet, 34E bra, 26 inch waist, 23 inches corseted, 34 inch hips and, so I’ve been told, a rather impressive ass. Overall this adds up to a UK size 10, but in some shops I have to take a size 12 because I can’t fit my chest into certain garments. Basically, I like to think (well more hope) that I have the figure of a 1950′s pin- up girl, akin to Dita Von Teese, (although personally I think she’s a bit too thin, but that’s just me.) I’m proud of my figure. I’m human after all and I like to eat, like normal people and I have a terrible sweet tooth. GET FUCKING OVER IT. Also I can rest safe in the knowledge that my eye catching bust is just the gifts God gave me, as opposed to silicone implants. If I’m honest, those who desperately seek to be stick thin can kiss goodbye to the idea of a large bust because the biology just doesn’t add up. That’s why every time I see a really skinny, like skeletal skinny person with a substantial bust I know they’ve had implants.

I haven’t always been this body confident. This is only a very recent thing thanks to a select few people who know who they are. Up until a few months ago my whole life had been a blur of school bullies (primary and secondary), teachers, parents, boyfriends, doctors, so called “friends” making my life hell and trying to control what I ate and how I looked by inflicting such a level of misery and self-hatred I would have gladly crawled into a small hole and died. And they were all saying the same thing, right from just subtle little things like “You don’t want to eat that, you’ll ruin your figure” (My mother and my grandmother) “Maybe the boys are right, you could stand to lose a bit of weight” (School councillor) to “F**K OFF YOU FAT C**T”, (a P.E. teacher at my old school.) And don’t even talk to me about Uni……

 But I’ve made it through the other end, stronger for it. The memories still haunt me and always will but I’ve stopped hating these people because hating them means you’re still wasting energy having feelings for them. End of.

 Most of my best friends are boys and the general consensus is that they prefer curvy women, although I don’t think Hayley Williams deserves the admiration she gets for being so “proud to be herself.” She’s stick thin! I will always hold true to me the day that my best friend said to me “Yeah, Hayley’s fit but she could do to beef up a bit. She’s too skinny for me, and she doesn’t have a lot in the form of cleavage.”Kat Von D on the other hand is a personal heroine of mine, not just because she’s a tattooist but because she has her own style, she’s not stick thin and she doesn’t give a fuck what people think of her.  But then on the other side of it, there’s my sister and her brother (not my brother, it’s complicated) ranting about how “fat” people are horrible and vulgar and how they wouldn’t be seen out with them. I was truly horrified.

To me, there is nothing more pathetic than these internet groups “Stunnas 09″ etc. The only thing sadder is the self-obsessed plastics who photograph themselves for the site is those who join it in the hope of pulling! It must be truly sad to seek gratification in the form of a comment reading “I’d well shag you” from a stranger on the other end of a computer.

Therefore in a world where the laxative, middle finger, diet pill and starvation is King, and record numbers of teenage girls as young as 12 are being admitted to hospital suffering from anorexia or bulimia, I’m going to put on my curve-hugging dresses, flaunt what I’ve got and “shock” this society into realizing that there’s nothing wrong with being human and yourself. Put it this way- for someone who’s meant to be so “fat”, “hideous” and a “monster to society” I’ve had a fair few compliments.

 ”I’m bringing sexy back…………”