You don’t have to spend too long on the web to realise that we’re among a large collection of web comics, good and bad.
But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you could be publishing your comics on the net? What’s that you say… you can’t draw? Who needs artistic skills when you have Microsoft Paint?! You don’t even need a sense of humour, the Internet finds any little thing funny.
Here’s my collection of not-so-funny Microsoft Paint comics.
26 Nov, 2008
Posted by: Shaun In: General| High Jinks
As I trawl through Ebolacola.org’s stats pages, I can’t help but wonder why our imageboard is receiving so many hits and yet receiving only a tiny amount of uploads.
As part of the site upgrade, the category known as ‘High Jinks’ will be used for relaxed and sometimes humorous posts. Which is why today, I will bless you with pictures of undeniably cute animals doing undeniably cute things, such as a frog riding a plastic motorcycle and a crab in flavour country.
Interesting story last week. Infidelity in Second Life. Two basement dwellers split over one’s avatar cheating on the other. Somewhere below there’s a brief summary with a couple of helpful diagrams I ’stoled’ from ‘The Guardian’.
I had a small moral dilemma before writing this. These days it’s so easy to judge people just by reading about them. I mean, what if I were in their shoes? I can’t just damn someone with my narrow-minded opinion on the basis of skim-reading a newspaper article. I see people do this everyday and it annoys me. The uproar over Jonathan Ross and Russel Brand’s phone call to Andrew Sachs is a good example of what I mean by this. People, even if they never heard the show, were beside themselves with disgust and contempt, even though it was meant to be funny. And some people did find it funny, like me.
So with the whole bald headed freak divorce story, I took two minutes timeout to think about it, to see if there was any possible views to justify it. I did this before I even bothered to put my thoughts to ASCII code. “There must be a wider view, some reasoning to all of this?”, I thought. I mean, We could just dismiss this couple as simply being fat idiots. Or maybe, maybe, the obese, unemployed woman was just feeling lonely. Or maybe, maybe, we could think that she was depressed with being married to an equally fat and unemployed slaphead. Or maybe we could just dismiss this couple as being fat idiots. But I kept trying to think of the bigger picture. So It went on like this for a minute or two.
So, the question was, “can I judge these people?” After thinking about it, I realised something. Yes, I can.
It’s about time we jumped on the bandwagon of pretty much every other tech related blog out there; let’s talk about Windows 7!
If you’ve spent the past couple of months under a rock, then Windows 7 is an upcoming operating system from Microsoft, due for release “at the end of next year”. Microsoft has been showing off a pre-beta build at press developers conferences, and giving demonstrations etc etc, and along with everything else digital, has been leaked online. Being the sad bastard that I am, I’ve installed a copy on my laptop, because I’m so trendy and awesome.
Playing Fable 2 I can’t help but feel left out slightly. While other gamers are rambling about the re-appearance of their favourite monsters or characters and the similarities between Fable 1 and Fable 2, I just play on, secluded from the “I played Fable 1 and understand what’s going on here in Fable 2 a lot more than you do!” club.
When I first began Fable 2, it made sense for me to choose the brand new female character. I based this on what I would rather be looking at for the next year, as RPGs tend to suck up days of time and being stuck with an unlikeable character would be tiresome. Also, I choose female characters in most of my games, I’m sure it is some sort of disorder. And so the story began.
This interests me quite a bit.
It’s not so much that some girl killed herself, it’s not even the fact that someone pretended to be someone else on the internet. (Lookit me, I’m really a 13 year old japanese schoolgirl with large breasts. My favorite hobbies include touching myself on webcam, talking to strange men, and sticking Sharpie markers up my ass. My life’s pursuit is to be on Girls Gone Wild, Bukkake Edition.)
No, none of that. What interests me is this:
prosecutors were unable to find any existing laws within the state of Missouri under which she could be tried.
We’ve long said that the awesome power and might of the internet should not be regulated- from a Net Neutrality perspective, corporations and government should not charge for different aspects of net presence, and information is free.
Don’t get me wrong, the girl should have had a spine, should have done something else besides deciding the best way to solve internet bullying was with a long drop with a short stop. Hell, TURNING THE COMPUTER OFF is a great way to get it to go away. Or, barring that, changing information. Holy fuck, it’s not that hard. change email addresses? No problem, I have five. Instant messaging accounts? I have four of those. Get a new MySpace page or stop going to fucking MySpace. holy shit, what the fuck just happened, I fixed all her problems.
Furthermore, what the fuck is up with this broad? “Prosecutors say Ms Drew and several others created the boy on MySpace, the social networking website, after Megan Meier fell out with her daughter. ” Lady, simply because one girl doesn’t like another girl doesn’t mean you have to systematically ruin that girl’s life. I mean, fuck, I know women are irrational to their genes, but that’s taking the fucked-up cookie.
Disregarding the question of whether or not someone that vulnerable should have been let onto the internet sans supervision, how does one prosecute when there is no law? What do you think, how should she be prosecuted?
I think we’re all kind of glad that Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States. Well, almost everyone apart from maybe a few die-hard Republicans and a fistful of white supremacists, but I’ll get onto that later. But good on Obama.
I don’t live in the US of A. I live in Scotland, but like everyone else in the world privileged with a television and Internet, I followed the events in America with great interest.
The story has been pretty much epic as elections go - an African American wins - a complete first that even I don’t need to tell you. It’s a first for women, with Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. And it’s a first for me as a person being interested in Politics.
You would understand why this is. Our elections are pretty boring. It’s more about kissing babies and shaking hands at supermarkets, than gigantic Superbowl-sized crowds and heart-stopping speeches. Our politicians are boring, dull and about as charisma as a dead fish. We are, on the other hand - blessed with the epic Boris Johnson and Alex Salmond’s hilarious looking face. Which you can never take away from us, America. Besides, I’m not here to talk about us - so where was I?
Oh yeah, the election. I kind of dropped in as Hillary Clinton dropped out, although I vaguely followed it beforehand. I originally thought it was Obama against Clinton for the actual election until someone set me straight. Clinton’s crazy eyes and show-boating speeches ensured I was an Obama fan from early on. I only really heard of McCain when Hillary buggered off the scene.
American company, Hustler Video is shooting an adult movie which features a Sarah Palin lookalike and the previews are orbiting the net at high speeds.
Not only is the preview video disturbing, it’s hilarious. If the video has left you thirsty for more Palin action, more images are available at this link (NSFW).
Personally, I think it’s an inventive way of making politics slightly less boring.
Just as the title doesn’t make sense, neither does the following piece of news. Sony has to recall every single copy of the game Little Big Planet because someone put in two lines from the Qur’an into one of it’s background tracks. Members of the Islamic community have deemed it could be offensive to their religion, and thus would have to be stopped from being released at all costs. We don’t quite know how it’s offensive, but it is, and Sony shit a brick.
How harmful can it be? The game is centered around a character called Sackboy (above), for fuck’s sake. That’s about as offensive as bird watching or playing tennis. Of all the games including sex, violence, sexual violence and violent sex that could have been recalled, it’s a game where you play as a knitted cuddly toy that causes the most stress. The lyrics are even in Malian. If anything, the lyrics are offensive in themselves. Lines include such favourites as ”Every soul shall have the taste of death” and “All that is on earth will perish”. I don’t really think a game for little boys and girls should contain lines like that anyway. Think about the poor Somalian kids.
The irony of it all is the fact that the song writer is a Muslim himself. Unless for some reason all holy books are open source, he should have at least asked for permission. At it’s core, the Islamic community is probably just pissed that they didn’t get any recognition, I mean Ebaumsworld has probably been taking their stuff for years, so no wonder.
What is it? A shop that sells newspapers, magazines, snacks and pornography.
What do you do? Get robbed.
___________________________
Old women seem to have a distorted view on newsagents. While Supermarket empires provide brilliant prices and everything you would ever need, except hoverboards - old people are particularly stuck on the idea of using newsagents. According to them, Newsagents are ‘lovely’ (they’re not), so as soon as Tesco clears a two-mile radius to build a supermarket, old people go out of their way to protect their newsagent from it’s inevitable demise.
This fantasy, obviously induced by their medication, is of a faithful cornershop, a haven of society cherished by the residents of Pixie Dust lane and Bullshit Avenue.
In this fantasy, we have Dick Van Dyke standing behind the counter, with rows and rows of shelves holding everything from sweets to ‘The Guardian’. A little boy rushes in.
“Could I interest you with ices of cherry and strawberry and all the pretty colours of the rainbow?! Or candy… delicious, mouthwatering, scrumpilicious candy. Whizz twigglers and Zap Sours and honeycomb melts!?”, he says heartily.
“Why Yessir!”, cries Timmy, an eight year old boy scout, before handing over an eighth of a pence to buy a chocolate house.
“That’s beezer, w-why thankyou Mister!”, the little boy cries.
“Ha ha!”, laughs the shopkeeper heartily, “Not a problem, now off you go! Enjoy!”
Unless you start popping the same pills as Agnes, this does not happen. In reality what happens is you walk into a shithole, get served by a man that has ‘fuck off’ written all over his face, and then you get all your money taken off of you. All of it - even your dignity isn’t safe. The worst thing is how they look you straight in the face afterwards, as if they didn’t just blatantly overcharge you.
“How can you sleep at night!?”, I scream, with my £2.00 Cornetto. Which is stale.
I remember the ridiculous arguments we used to read about in Geography class about how old people didn’t want giant, heartless supermarkets knocking their local corner shop out of business. Okay, if someone saying “What the fuck do you want” under his breath, and then conning you out of five quid isn’t heartless - then I’d hate to see what supermarkets are capable of.
To be honest, I don’t care if supermarkets are cold, giant warehouses, with faceless employees and mile-long aisles. I don’t go to shops for a Disney experience, I go there for fuel -you know, to survive and stuff. For every one item I can buy in a Newsagents, I can buy at least five at better quality, and at half the price in a supermarket.
Of course, Supermarkets aren’t always innocent. Sometimes they sell poor meat and sometimes they sell food injected with cancer, but what does that matter? I hope Tesco destroys all of them.
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